The Paradox of Wanting More

The wanting of something in life, is the wanting of more. We all have things we need and want. It's important to make a distinction between these. In our day and age, because of the hard work of us and our ancestors, to most the need has become idle and the want has become gallant. Is this capitalism or human nature? This is the paradox I pursue in my mind. I believe it's human nature.

The need for "wanting" is a very large part of our childhood, and before we know anything about Capitalism, and yet, when we get older or elderly, this desire usually disappears. For my dad, who is now in his 80's, I am sure that the only thing that he really wants is a cup of tea and a nap.

This is probably not that different from the things I want as well! It is important to remember how we ended up where we are today, which is more MORE MORE! Yet our children today are experiencing greater levels of depression and anxiety than any other generation ever! I find it hard to comprehend that we still have an element of surprise at being at this destination, given how clearly we have traveled this road of emptiness.

What We Really Need: Connection

What we really NEED is connection.

People will always have some desires. Allergic reaction to this 'cheap' thing or 'expensive' materialism; that is, as long as you connect with others in ways other than material goods, you will be happy. This applies to all types of people on a variety of levels including: younger children, adolescents establishing who they are, adults redefining their goals, and student athletes adjusting to changing lives.

For young athletes especially, the transition from competitive sports to the next phase of life can be disorienting. When your identity has been wrapped up in being "the athlete" for years, stepping away from that-whether by choice, injury, or simply aging out-requires significant emotional adjustment. Athlete life transition support addresses not just the practical questions of "what's next?"

Understanding the Roots of Our Habits

So why do we do it? People may say it's our capitalistic system, but the truth is if we weren't putting money as the driving power in the hands of every man, it would only be in ONE... umm, we've tried that one a million times... walk slowly backwards... don't go towards the light!

I believe it's a habit we are taught when we are quite young. As toddlers, we are WANTING lots of things. We as parents have to decipher if it's a want or a need. If we make wants, needs, we are not teaching our children from these very formative years how to make a clear distinction. As they get older now, we have now trained them to pursue this empty addiction.

This pattern shows up everywhere-in our purchasing decisions, in how we define success, and in how young people navigate major transitions. Student athletes who've spent years chasing scholarships, championships, and recognition often struggle when those external markers of achievement disappear. Quality athlete life transition support helps them recognize that their worth isn't defined by trophies or stats, but by deeper qualities: resilience, discipline, teamwork, and the ability to pursue meaningful goals.

Teaching the Distinction

First, figure that out for yourself. Is what you are wanting or need? Pursue this question regularly so you keep yourself on the right path. Then we can manage this for our children. Trust me, teens have an x-ray vision of what is wrong with you and if you're not doing it right, it would be hypocritical to preach it.

Then whether you have a toddler or a teen, even though it's hard to say NO!, just do it! Then ALWAYS back it up with a hug and tight squeeze to quell their frustration. Then repeat this 100 times. Afterwards, you will initiate this questioning in their own mind and they will be able to do it for themselves.

This same principle applies when working with athletes transitioning out of competitive sports. They don't need another achievement to chase or material goal to pursue-they need support in discovering what truly matters to them beyond athletics. They need permission to grieve what they're leaving behind while embracing the excitement of what's ahead. They need someone to help them separate who they are from what they've accomplished.

The Role of Life Coaching

I am a life coach. Helping guide you down a better path and making a plan is my job. If you are having trouble with your child, let's talk about it and get the relationship back to health.

Whether you're a parent struggling to connect with your teenager, a student athlete facing the end of your competitive career, or simply someone feeling stuck in the cycle of wanting more without finding fulfillment, coaching provides clarity and direction.

For athletes specifically, athlete life transition support offers a structured way to process change, identify new goals, and build an identity beyond sports. It's about honoring what athletics taught you while discovering who you're becoming next. The discipline, work ethic, and resilience developed through sports are incredible assets-the challenge is learning how to apply them in new contexts.

Finding Peace in Simplicity

It is a cold midwestern morning and it's worth mentioning it's 3 degrees outside. I love the morning cold, which has led to an eerie quiet outside. Ahhh, peace. This is definitely a WANT for me.

But maybe it's actually a need-the need for stillness, for quiet reflection, for moments that aren't defined by productivity or achievement. These moments remind us that the best things in life often can't be bought or earned. They're simply experienced.

As we navigate this world of constant wanting, let's remember to pause, to connect genuinely with the people around us, and to ask ourselves honestly: is this a want or a need? The answer might surprise you, and it might just lead you to exactly what you've been searching for all along.

Have an extraordinary day.

Tika